"Many minorities must learn to stay calm in the face of disrespect, because we understand that some people truly have never been taught. For these individuals, learning can be a valuable experience. I try to be kind so that people are more likely to ask respectfully next time."

 

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Ableism — what is it? Well, ableism is the unfair treatment of an individual in favor of able-bodied people. This definition is different from Google's definition, which describes it simply as "discrimination in favor of able-bodied people." In my experience with ableism, it’s a little more complicated than Google's definition. Yes, ableism can look like discrimination — for example, not hiring someone because of their disability, or not talking to somebody because of their disability. But it can also look like coddling someone because of their disability.

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An example of this might be cutting someone’s food for them before asking whether they need help. Why is this frustrating? Many people with disabilities have worked very hard to overcome challenges and gain independence. So, when you do something for them without asking and simply assume they need help, it comes across as condescending. More importantly, it takes away the independence they’ve worked so hard to achieve.

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According to Professor Kathleen Bogart, there are three main ways that disability is categorized:

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1. The Moral Model
 

The moral model suggests that a person or their family is responsible for their disability. This model views disability as punishment for sin, a representation of evil, or a result of karma. It’s one of the most common perceptions of disability worldwide. Some examples of this model can be seen in characters like Freddy Krueger or Captain Hook from Peter Pan. Their disabilities — whether overt or subtle — are often used to foster dislike or disdain for the characters, because there is something different about them.

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2. The Medical Model
 

The medical model is a very Western perspective on disability. It views disabilities as something that is "wrong" and needs to be fixed. While this model has led to many innovations that assist individuals, society remains largely fixated on the idea that disability is a personal flaw. This ties back to the moral model. This perspective makes disability seem like an exception rather than a part of the common human experience. For instance, requiring corrective lenses (refractive error) is considered normal, but in some people's eyes, needing assistance with mobility or other daily tasks is viewed as abnormal, even though a large portion of the population faces some kind of disability.

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3. The Social Model
 

The social model suggests that society is the primary cause of disability. The idea is that society fails to accommodate the needs of those with disabilities, which leads to many challenges for them. Disability activists commonly support this model because it removes much of the stigma associated with having a disability. This model argues that if the world were more accommodating — for example, by adding more ramps for wheelchair users — the awareness and negative perceptions of disabilities would decrease. People with disabilities would then be able to keep up with others, improving societal inclusion.

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Though these three models are different ways of perceiving disabilities, they can all be applied to ableism. One thing I always tell people when talking about my disability is simply to ask. Even if you are unsure or worry about being disrespectful, asking is a good start. I’ve grown to learn how to respond in a way that can educate others, and I know I’m not the only one. Many minorities must learn to stay calm in the face of disrespect, because we understand that some people truly have never been taught. For these individuals, learning can be a valuable experience. I try to be kind so that people are more likely to ask respectfully next time.

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Through my experiences, I've also learned that there are two main types of disrespect: ignorance and arrogance. Ignorant people are disrespectful because they haven’t been taught the proper way to speak or act. Arrogant people, on the other hand, are disrespectful because they believe they already know the correct way, but are wrong.

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So, if there’s anything you take away from what you’ve read here today, let it be this: ask. Most people with disabilities are more than willing to share their experiences or advocate for themselves. By simply asking, you can interact with someone respectfully and accurately.